Okay so it has been one of those days. You perhaps know the kind, the ones where the alarm goes off or you hear the kids and think "I really don't want to get out of my bed." Not for lack of love or lack of appreciation but for sheer lack of internal motivation. There has been nothing super stressful or exciting for us lately, I think that I am just in one of those ruts where I focus on the fact that mount washmore never disappears, the dishes always seem to fill the sink and the kids toys and clothes seem to have found their way into every possible crack in the house. It seems futile to even start the cleaning because I know that even at the end of the marathon clean my house does not seem to come out as cute as all those pictures I see on pinterest. Truly said tho, I am not willing to put that much effort into my shell of a home.
I think this is a normal funk. One most certainly could not tell by looking at pinterest or checking facebook updates. Those seem to make it look like almost every mom but me has some amazing craft project, baking project or educational lesson all lined up in their perfectly decorated house with sparkling floors and matching EVERYTHING! It is either this or the blog posts are busy focusing on breastfeeding vrs bottle feeding, to spank or not to spank and in general how bad of a parent I also am because I sometimes leave my children in the car to run into a store. I just want to know that I am normal. I also feel like it is my responsibility to be my children's activity planner, even though deep down I know this is not true. I have a fantastic mom but I do not recall many occasions where she was my "playmate" or my entertainer.
I was talking with an elderly mother the other day who made my self esteem jump ten points. Her opening statement was "I feel bad for moms these days." Love at first words. She went on to tell me that she raised 12 kids on the farm. I was like "WOW!" You had it rough" Her response was how easy she had it. Back then no one expected her to work (aside from her full time job as mom.) There was no expectation to put your kids in any sort of activity outside of school. There was most certainly no need to play with your kids (the did that outside or with each other) and the academics were the job of the school. She did say that the chores took twice as long but you had time to do those things because you did not have twelve other things to get done.
I know that we do not live in that era but if I could tell moms one thing it is that "You are GOOD enough" It does not matter if you breastfeed or bottle feed, spank or don't, are Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker. It doesn't matter if your kid is in no activities or ten or how clean your kids are or aren't. How clean your house is or isn't or how much laundry you secretly have piled beside your bed (more then you know.) None of us are perfect parents, I know fully that I am going to screw my children up in someway because I am learning this gig too. I could do everything "right" but my child may perceive me as "too nice" or "too strict." At the end of the day (most days anyhow) my children know they are loved (even though I sometimes yell like a crazy lady.) The know that their mom is there for them to guide, guard and lead them. I think of all those blessed little kids who have no parents to love them. All those beautiful little hearts who have been shattered by parents who have abused, broken and used them. Those beloved little birds who are starving and cold and unloved by seemingly everyone. Then I look at my babies, fed and warm, blanketed in kisses and hugs and I know that they are lucky to have me, as imperfect as I am.
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